Did You Miss Me?
Some Notes From My Social Media Sabbatical
Hello my friends, it’s been a while.
It’s been an insane 6 months over here in the Frayed Collar household. Maddy and I have been so busy — between moving, work picking up, and a billion weddings — that pretty much all of our hobbies have fallen to the wayside.
Getting back to writing (and posting on instagram) has been something that I’ve been ruminating on for many months now — I have about 7 half-written drafts that will never see the light of day…
Something about following through and posting them has just felt wrong. Maybe it’s some kind of media burnout or Instagram becoming dead-set on being Tik-Tok-but-shittier (I spend about 15 minutes on the platform per day at this point — when I first started my Instagram, my face would be glued to my phone for hours upon hours (not healthy, but it is what it is)), but the idea of posting as of late has filled me with a terrible combination of dread and revulsion.
It feels a little melodramatic to type that out, but I’ve genuinely felt physically repulsed by the idea of posting a fit pic or finishing even a short article for months now. That seems to be slowly fading, or more aptly, the desire to create has slowly started to win this internal struggle against bashfulness.
Regardless, I think I can say this with some confidence now: We’re Back.
A little ambience to set the mood:
It’s October. It’s the start of the playoffs for those of us who fancy ourselves to be fashionable young men. Every day is a new chance to get a fit off, even if that day consists of working from home and walking your dog around the block a few times.
I don’t mean to get philosophical here, but people genuinely do notice the effort and act differently toward you, even if it’s in passing. Maybe I’m hyper-aware of this because I’m Tall and Imposing™, but people noticeably soften up when I look put together versus when I’m wearing sweats or otherwise slumming it. Your appearance matters!! Who would’ve thought..
In many ways though, we never came out of the societal coma that was covid, and I think people seeing others putting effort into themselves again also inspires them to do the same (at any rate I’m seeing less pyjamas in public nowadays). Beauty begets beauty, so to speak, so time to layer up and revel in the best time of the year for dressing.
A Quick Treatise On Media Consumption
A few months back I wrote an article about frying my brain from too much media consumption. I set up some controls in my phone that limit my screen time in my worst-offending apps (notably Twitter), and have been better off for it. I don’t always stick to my time restrictions, but I generally am able to control myself enough not to override the app lockouts lol.
After these few months however, I’ve noticed that some of the ways I interact with media have changed significantly. Notably, these time restrictions put me into a scarcity mindset and I subconsciously scramble to get as many dopamine hits in my time allotment as I can. What this means functionally is that I’m way less likely to create versus consume. Kind of an unintended consequence of this little experiment, so I’m trying to rectify that going forward.
I firmly believe that creation — even just throwaway tweets (Xeets?) or instagram stories — is a great and powerful act, and noticing its recent absence in my life has been jarring. It completely shifts your mindset around the things you’re interacting with. Highly recommend auditing your consumption patterns/hobbies and trying to find more ways to be hands-on with creating or contributing to them. It’s very rewarding.
One other thing — I’ve been reading a lot more. I need to fill all this new time with something, and Maddy and I really don’t watch a whole lot of TV/movies, so books were the next logical media consumption step. It feels good to feel my attention span getting longer, like I’m singlehandedly fighting off the scourge of gen-alpha iPad babyisms. I’m up to four concurrent books now:
The Crying of Lot 49 by Thomas Pynchon — I actually found this book after recently reflecting on a movie we watched months ago… Under the Silver Lake is a movie about conspiracy and forcing meaning onto things that inherently don’t have any. Really interesting, really artsy if you’re into that sort of thing. I was struck by the surrealism combined with the protagonist kind of being a huge loser, and went to Reddit to see if I could find some similar things. Much of Pynchon’s work was recommended, but specifically this book, where a woman believes she’s stumbled onto a mass conspiracy involving the US postal system.
A Night in the Lonesome October by Roger Zelzany — A book following the exploits of Jack the Ripper through the eyes of his pet dog, Snuff, as he prepares for a ritual that takes place every few decades when there’s a full moon on Halloween. I stumbled across this one by accident, but apparently there’s a tradition amongst horror lit enthusiasts to read one chapter per day through October (there are 32 chapters in the book — an intro and one chapter for each day of the month), so I decided to join in.
The Witcher Series by Andrzej Sapkowski — I’m currently on the fifth book, Baptism of Fire. I enjoyed the video game when it came out (almost 10 years ago??), but was clearly missing a lot of the background lore of the series, so I decided to rectify that. The overarching story is generally pretty interesting, but the narration leaves something to be desired and the scenes with The Rats are unbearable, to be frank. Who names a man Kayleigh???
Rowing Faster by Volker Nolte — This is literally just a textbook about rowing biomechanics.
Admittedly, four books is too much. It makes reading feel like a slog, especially when one of those books is really dry science-adjacent material. Still, it’s nice to chip away at my insanely long backlog of books, and it probably helps keep the social media brainrot at bay.
Brooks Brothers
It’s been years since I’ve bought anything from Brooks Brothers. The company’s obviously been on a downtrend for quite a long time at this point, capitalized by a bankruptcy filing in 2020.
Since being acquired, they’ve been plagued by some questionable choices and flat-out bad editorials, even though the clothing designs themselves weren’t so bad. I went to check them out today after a beagle sweater caught my eye, and was pleasantly surprised with some of their offerings. At the same time, many of their design choices left me scratching my head.
My biggest gripe to date with Brooks Brothers has always been an issue with them — they’re selling way too much shit! I’m not clicking through thousands of products, especially when half of them are just repeats in different cuts. They need to organize their website and then consider culling about 50% of their current offerings, as so many of them just don’t make any sense. Some examples:
Yeah, corduroy shorts have been around forever, but corduroy is still inherently a fall material. Black watch tartan is also a cold weather color combo. This product is just fighting against itself and falls flat in my opinion.
Look I get that double-knees aren’t being worn by people that actually do any amount of physical labor, but they’re still being worn as a way to steal valor from blue collar people. That implies a level of base functionality that it immediately overwritten by the fact that these are slim fit. Also, they visually just look cheap, like something you’d find from an unknown brand at TJ maxx. Further, what’s the value proposition of selling these for $198? I can get the real deal from Carhartt for like $60, or some surprisingly well-made and design-conscious versions for less than $130 generally speaking (I really like these ones by Madewell for $128. I got both of my pairs for less than $30 if you’re willing to hold out for sales).
??? Dawg come on
Still, not everything is bad, and most is quite good, even. In fact, I started this section off by saying that I actually liked a good deal of their stuff. I really just think they could go without literally half of their current offerings and be just as successful, if not more-so, with a tighter and more defined brand image. Just some food for thought. I’ll leave you with a few cool things that caught my eye:
Blackwatch patchwork corduroy pants - $248
Pinwale cord chore coat - $298
Beagle critter cords - $148
Paraboot
Paraboot has been around for a long time in the menswear space, but has really exploded since the pandemic. Their prices are eye-watering, but thanks to a sale-on-sale at J. Crew, I managed to pick up a pair of Michael boots for a reasonable price.
To be honest, I see why they charge like $630 per pair of shoes now — they look awesome in person and the quality is absolutely apparent from the first wear.
Now I’m stuck wanting more pairs of $600+ shoes, which is so, so hard to justify. Might re-list a bunch of things on grailed/ebay to try and soften the blow…
Either way, I’m on the hunt for a pair of the low-cut Michaels in their classic cafe color, and a pair of the black Reims loafers. Something about that chunky sole on the Reims loafers just speaks to me in a way that a chunked up loafer normally don’t. This is a solid $1200 worth of shoes, but man are they beauts.
Ali Labelle
In the brief, fleeting interludes I have between doing the work of 3 chemical engineers (please kill me), I find myself reading others’ Substacks more and more at work. One of the authors that has stuck out to me the most is
and her page À La Carte. Ali herself is a creative director/designer from Los Angeles.One of the most striking things about her page is her use of physical moodboards. She chooses a theme, scours the internet for pictures and then painstakingly lays them out, arranges them, and rearranges them in physical space to create a coherent and compelling narrative. I find this an exceptionally charming way to create content and I look forward to each additional entry.
From Notes of: Equestrian:
Head of the Charles Regatta
October marks a special time for we rowers, as it’s the thick of head race season, and with it comes a chance to compete at the largest rowing regatta in the world, held locally here in Boston. For those wondering where the name comes from, a head race is a race that takes place from the basin of a river, upstream to the headwaters. In the case of the Charles, it’s a 3-miler (~4700m) that starts at Boston University’s boathouse.
It’s a very romantic time of the year — the air is crisp, the leaves are brilliant hues of golden and burnt orange, there’s electricity in the air as the best of the best — and us washed-up masters rowers — duke it out for bragging rights.
Unfortunately your boy lost his seat race, so I’ll be on the sidelines this year. Hopefully I’ll get some good content for an article out of it at the very least! Vineyard Vines has been the sponsor for the last few years and their merch has left quite a bit to be desired.
L. L. Bean
Two quick points on the Bean:
I lost my beloved gumshoes to the Charles river a couple weeks ago. Those things were tanks and survived mountains of goose poop and other rowing-related detritus. They were probably my most-worn shoes and it’s a shame to have lost them.
L. L. Bean also made a 100th anniversary edition of their barn jacket, using a “premium British Millerain wax cotton shell” in addition to their chamois clothing lining.
If you were looking for something similar to a Carhartt Detroit jacket but with more of a New England prep lean, then this is a great option. The vintage barn jackets are also popping off with the ladies from my understanding.
J. Crew Giant Fit Oxfords
I’ve talked about these quite a bit in the past, but I’ve slowly been replacing my wardrobe with them. The relaxed fit seems to fit my frame really well, and they’re surprisingly high quality.
Something I’ve noticed about recent J. Crew is the variation in quality amongst their different lines. It seems like they’re slowly establishing a line of more premium options, with the giant fit oxfords and their “classic fit“ chinos leading they way. The chinos are also great, but they’re excluded from every single promotion which J. Crew also seems to be running less of nowadays. I guess it’s time to say goodbye to the 70+% off sales of yore.
With all that being said, a lot of their products just straight up suck. Many are from lines that have been around forever, e.g., the secret wash shirts, but it’s still promising to see that there’s a turn toward some higher quality pieces here and there.
Alright guys, thanks for attending this months-overdue yap session. Hoping to re-establish a more regular posting routine from here on out. Reminiscent of the À La Carte blog, I kind of like the idea of doing some sort of monthly mood board or inspiration dump. Might be a healthier way to approach social media going forward.
I’ve also been toying around with the idea of using Substack Notes as a mini-Twitter feed (its intended use lol). Now that it’s been around for a bit and there’s some regular users, maybe it’ll feel a little less like shouting into the void.
See you next time 😎🥂
Glad to see you back!
I’d recommend a book to complement you reading habit and media consumption meditation, The Anxious Generation by Dr. Jonathon Haidt. It is an insightful and well thought out study of what always having social media and smart phones in our hands has done to us all, especially late millennials/Gen Z.
Wow, thank you!!! I appreciate the kind words!